Bad News

After a painful couple of weeks I finally got in to see my doctor yesterday. I figured there wasn’t anything they could do, so I wasn’t prepared for a life altering statement from my doctor. The extreme pain I have been suffering from most recently was due to a cyst that had ruptured in one of my ovaries. They did another ultrasound, to have a look around. The ultrasound tech said everything look great for now! And it was time to get serious about having another child! How serious was she? Serious enough that my doctor wants to remove one or both of my ovaries… He would want to remove one of them for now and keep the other in, in case we decide to have another child in the next couple of years. The problem with that is, it would be 80x harder for me to conserve, and there also isn’t a very good chance now (then) one ovary would hold up much longer one it’s own anyways, since for some reason my body likes to battle it’s other opponents out like a good old fashioned game of Risk. He’s recommendation? Got pregnant now! He give me a prescription to try and make it easier for me to conserve, since that’s always been a problem for me. I was game. I never really thought I would only have one child. I’m still somewhat in shock though, I mean I’m 22… But it’s really now or never… The only problem is after returning home and talking to my husband he seems to be siding with never. He thinks we’re in to poor of a financial standing to consider having another child. Which is true, but the way I see it is, if God is going to take this part of my away and is giving us this one last chance, then he will work out our fiances and we’ll get by, the way we have been. My husband doesn’t see it that way, “if God really wanted us to have another child you would already be pregnant” he stated. There doesn’t seem to be a way for me to make my argument any clearer or more convincing to him. I’m heartbroken and he hasn’t tried to say one comforting thing to me. I want us to take this chance we’ve been given. I don’t want to have my reproductive system taken out at 22. I feel lost, confused, heart broken and alone. I know God has a plan for all of this, I just wish it didn’t have to hurt so much and be this disappointing.  

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