Waiting for the Dazzle

I know I have mentioned in earlier posts that I always assumed and planned on getting married pretty young in life. So here lately when I see younger girl/woman talking about getting married and seeing them so happy I really just want to pull them aside and have a word with them, you know girl code stuff. Honestly I’ve always sucked at relationships, for various reasons. While I was younger I was waiting for just the right guy to come along and dazzle me, but as I got a little bit older, I was like forget this waiting crap I’m taking matters into my own hands. Which as I’m sure you would assume it was all down hill from there. The best relationships I’ve been in, with the best guys, I’ve ran… The men I should have ran from I’ve stayed the longest. I’ve still always been mostly the one to end all the relationships. I’ve always had guy friends, and I also think like a guy a lot of the time. But still the girl in me out weighs all notions and I’ve let my feelings run the shots most of the time, even while knowing how it was going to end. I can give great relationship advice, I however can not make it work in my own favor. I’m really starting to feel like I missed out on some life experiences, like college life, traveling, dating a better crop of guys, having room mates and just being able to go out and do basically whatever I want to. All because I thought at 18 I was ready to settle down and start my own family. I mean how dumb is that?!? I really try not to give any younger girls I know speeches about enjoying being young and such. But it’s really hard, because I don’t want to see them throw it all away. I love my daughter and my family don’t get me wrong. But it all could have wait another 10 years or so. I really needed to find myself more before I tried creating another. I don’t want to see young woman making a decision they don’t realize will effect them in such a way for the rest of their life. They may think that’s what they want, but they have time for those things later on, and should just enjoy the place their at right now. I know every situations different, and I’m not judging anyone on the decisions they make, just like I don’t want them judging me for mine. I just want them to think long and hard about that they really want to get out of their life. If I could go back I would change so many things, I don’t know if my life would be any better for it, but maybe I wouldn’t wonder what if quite as much. But unfortunately no one gets a do-over. So I’m just trying to be happy and content with my life God has planed for me, and enjoy the rest of my life and what it has to offer.  




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